Steven and I have known each other for about seven years now. We've been a couple for most of that time. As odd as it may seem, we've even broken up with each other twice. I won't get into details only to say we were together for a while, he broke up with me, in time we couldn't stand to be apart, so we got together again. Then, after quite some time passed, I broke up with him, we remained friends, talked a bit, understood some things, and then got back together. Crazy, right? But maybe not so much.
I say that because no matter how bad things may have gotten, I've learned to hold on to the good. Were we physically abusive? Absolutely not. I'm sure it would have been a different story then. In time, and when our wits came into play and when we calmed down a bit in our hearts and minds, we came to learn some things about each other as well as ourselves. We've learned when we both need to have our own space. We've discovered and accepted when we just need to shut up and not take things personal. I'm certain Steven has learned things about himself that he could work on. And I've learned that I need to work on not being so self-centered or selfish. Can you believe it? It's really not all about me! I know, right? When did that happen?!?
Through the years, I've learned that if I can laugh at it, I can live with it. When Steven and I got back together in the spring of 2012, I think I've laughed more since that time and yelled less. I've learned that life is 10% what happens and 90% how we respond to it. I've also learned that attitudes are contagious. And if that's so, what kind of "flu" or "bacteria" am I spreading?
Steven is 8 years older than me. Does that mean there's no hope for my trying to understand his way of doing or communicating things? Certainly not. If there's confusion about something or unclarity, we check in with each other to make sure we're on the same page. Communication is, after all, essential no matter what the relationship. Do we still falter and slip sometimes? Of course we do. No relationship is absolutely perfect. Too many times I have heard or read somewhere someone saying, "I'm looking for the perfect man." I guess they're waiting for Jesus. As for me, I have Steven. And Jesus. That's perfect enough for me.
Except for when we've been apart, Steven have done two things every day (well, more than two, really, but these two have really been important): 1) We hold hands, and 2) we tell each other, "I love you." And sometimes more than once a day. Whether someone is gay or straight, I truly believe that love is the glue that keeps people together. Hatred, bitterness, jealousy, unfaithfulness, disrespect, selfishness... all those and the like are components that dissolve and eat away at the glue.
Steven and I love each other. We laugh together almost daily. Will we get married one day? We'll see. We've talked about it. And I have a plan as to how I'd propose to him. But, believe it or not, Steven and I have both been married before. To women. I know, I know. Don't get me started. That's a story for another day. Anyway, we'd probably just have a ceremony of sorts. But for now, well, it's as if we've been a couple for a long, long time. And we have been. But we're stronger now than we were when we first started our relationship.
And I have no regrets. Actually, just one: I wish I could've been a better man for Steven years ago. But the good news is I'm striving to be a better man for him today. He deserves the best from me.
And he'll get it.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Though the weather outside has been dreary these past couple of weeks, I am thankful that I'm not struggling as others are in the northern and northeastern states. We received a smidge of a threat of snow about a month ago, but that quickly melted away within half a day of receiving it. Not much rain, either. Yesterday there were a few sprinkles, but that's all. Frost and fog, on the other hand, has been prevalent for about two weeks now. But not today. Today we had clear skies with a hint of sun this morning. Now, once again, and as usual, it is overcast and grey.
I don't mind the weather, really. I prefer the cold as opposed to the extreme heat. Steven, my partner, loves the warmer temperatures. Me, not so much. Maybe eighty-five degrees maximum, perhaps ninety. Anything above that and I'll most certainly want to sit in the freezer in nothing but my shorts and undershirt.
Enough of the weather. That's small-talk. And if that's "small talk," then I assume "big talk" would be how I'm doing at work or how I'm doing presently regarding life in general or even how Steven and I are doing in our relationship. Fine. I shall adress the first as it is rather lengthy (the other two shall have to wait til another day). I won't go into every minute detail, but will share the "meat and bones" of it, as it were.
When I first started working as an apartment manager for the corporation I'm currently with, which started mid-July of 2012, I was estatic. I was impressing my boss as well as the tenants and owners of the building left and right. And I suppose I still am in some way or another. But I've been jilted in various ways by my boss these past couple of months and, in my opinion to be perfectly honest, been disrespected and treated unfairly. This 100 year old building has 28 units. When I arrived there were four vacancies. Now we're completely full and noone has given a hint of wanting to move (though there are one or two tenants I wish would give notice). The former manager kept the office unruly and chaotic which took a good couple of weeks to bring about to some sort of sense and order. I've cleaned and painted apartments, vacuumed and swept the landings, stairs and lobby areas, handled office affairs, performed some maintenance duties and put into place certain vendors to handle maintenance issues that I either didn't have time to get to or that were out of my expertise to perform, and I've resolved tenant-to-tenant problems. Basically speaking, I did my job.
In the second week of October 2012, the manager I replaced here (I won't mention the name at this time) left the other building the owners own unattended. That building (of which I also won't mention the name of) is five blocks away from the other apartment building. To make a long story short, my boss called me and asked if I would get the keys and gather up the rent checks as no deposit had been made at all that month. I got the keys, went to the office on-site there and found many checks and money orders all over the office floor. With those checks and money orders (which totalled over $16,000) I was able to assemble a rough draft of a rent roll, figuring out who was in which apartment. Since then I've had to bring to order that office and affairs much as I've had to do here. After the first month of proving I could manage both buildings my boss agreed to let me do so with an extra pay of $1200 per month which meant I could get benefits (of which I've never had in my entire life). But come mid-December when the owners found out I was managing both buildings, they showed and made known verbally their disapproval stating that they've never had any luck with one manager managing two buildings and would prefer a manager living on-site.
That really, really irked me and then some! My boss didn't have the approval of the owners to let me manage both buildings and I thought he had. I would have expected him to have done so before offering me the fine opportunity. The week before Christmas I was in that building handing out notices and Christmas cards whilst Steven was back home on the laptop perusing jobs and whatnot. When I got home, he brought to my attention an ad he came across: An advertisement of an apartment building needing an apartment manager. For the building I was managing! Although I knew it would come down to that, noone discussed with me that such an ad would be placed. Noone told me that such a task would be undertaken. I read the ad and called up my boss' assistant as her name and number was listed as being the contact person. When I called her and asked her about, not even she knew about it. She talked to her (and my) boss and was told he felt pressured by the owners to do so and that he was apologetic and would call me and apologize to me as well after he got out of a meeting.
That phone call never came. And to this day, neither did the apology. So, I'm out the extra $1200 per month as well as the benefits.
Don't you know that I busted my backside for that building within that first month of taking over, even so far as to inspecting each unit, addressing tenant's needs and maintenance requests that went unresolved or uncared for for many weeks, months, and sometimes even over a year. Within three months time I brought the 38-unit building from having nine vacancies down to having only one. And now I can't manage it. Oh, I'm being the team-player and managing it somewhat until they hire someone. But certainly not with the gusto I showed at first.
Now, as far as how I am doing personally and how Steven and I are doing, well... that will just have to wait til another day, my friend.
For now, I bid you adieu. Until next time...
Cheers!
I don't mind the weather, really. I prefer the cold as opposed to the extreme heat. Steven, my partner, loves the warmer temperatures. Me, not so much. Maybe eighty-five degrees maximum, perhaps ninety. Anything above that and I'll most certainly want to sit in the freezer in nothing but my shorts and undershirt.
Enough of the weather. That's small-talk. And if that's "small talk," then I assume "big talk" would be how I'm doing at work or how I'm doing presently regarding life in general or even how Steven and I are doing in our relationship. Fine. I shall adress the first as it is rather lengthy (the other two shall have to wait til another day). I won't go into every minute detail, but will share the "meat and bones" of it, as it were.
When I first started working as an apartment manager for the corporation I'm currently with, which started mid-July of 2012, I was estatic. I was impressing my boss as well as the tenants and owners of the building left and right. And I suppose I still am in some way or another. But I've been jilted in various ways by my boss these past couple of months and, in my opinion to be perfectly honest, been disrespected and treated unfairly. This 100 year old building has 28 units. When I arrived there were four vacancies. Now we're completely full and noone has given a hint of wanting to move (though there are one or two tenants I wish would give notice). The former manager kept the office unruly and chaotic which took a good couple of weeks to bring about to some sort of sense and order. I've cleaned and painted apartments, vacuumed and swept the landings, stairs and lobby areas, handled office affairs, performed some maintenance duties and put into place certain vendors to handle maintenance issues that I either didn't have time to get to or that were out of my expertise to perform, and I've resolved tenant-to-tenant problems. Basically speaking, I did my job.
In the second week of October 2012, the manager I replaced here (I won't mention the name at this time) left the other building the owners own unattended. That building (of which I also won't mention the name of) is five blocks away from the other apartment building. To make a long story short, my boss called me and asked if I would get the keys and gather up the rent checks as no deposit had been made at all that month. I got the keys, went to the office on-site there and found many checks and money orders all over the office floor. With those checks and money orders (which totalled over $16,000) I was able to assemble a rough draft of a rent roll, figuring out who was in which apartment. Since then I've had to bring to order that office and affairs much as I've had to do here. After the first month of proving I could manage both buildings my boss agreed to let me do so with an extra pay of $1200 per month which meant I could get benefits (of which I've never had in my entire life). But come mid-December when the owners found out I was managing both buildings, they showed and made known verbally their disapproval stating that they've never had any luck with one manager managing two buildings and would prefer a manager living on-site.
That really, really irked me and then some! My boss didn't have the approval of the owners to let me manage both buildings and I thought he had. I would have expected him to have done so before offering me the fine opportunity. The week before Christmas I was in that building handing out notices and Christmas cards whilst Steven was back home on the laptop perusing jobs and whatnot. When I got home, he brought to my attention an ad he came across: An advertisement of an apartment building needing an apartment manager. For the building I was managing! Although I knew it would come down to that, noone discussed with me that such an ad would be placed. Noone told me that such a task would be undertaken. I read the ad and called up my boss' assistant as her name and number was listed as being the contact person. When I called her and asked her about, not even she knew about it. She talked to her (and my) boss and was told he felt pressured by the owners to do so and that he was apologetic and would call me and apologize to me as well after he got out of a meeting.
That phone call never came. And to this day, neither did the apology. So, I'm out the extra $1200 per month as well as the benefits.
Don't you know that I busted my backside for that building within that first month of taking over, even so far as to inspecting each unit, addressing tenant's needs and maintenance requests that went unresolved or uncared for for many weeks, months, and sometimes even over a year. Within three months time I brought the 38-unit building from having nine vacancies down to having only one. And now I can't manage it. Oh, I'm being the team-player and managing it somewhat until they hire someone. But certainly not with the gusto I showed at first.
Now, as far as how I am doing personally and how Steven and I are doing, well... that will just have to wait til another day, my friend.
For now, I bid you adieu. Until next time...
Cheers!
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